The College Blues: 3 Rules on Procrastination


So this week is exam week here in North Florida, and KillerMiller is here to give you a few tips on how to procrastinate studying for these exams. I am speaking from experience, so I assure you these methods work.

First thing’s first: don’t you dare spend any daylight even thinking about schoolwork. You have to spend every second of daylight doing what you love, whether it be hanging out with friends, doing heroin, reading a book, having a nice time with your girlfriend, or literally anything else besides doing schoolwork.

Second: You have permission to get the study guides and highlight what you need to study by the time sunset rolls around. But don’t even THINK about trying to start writing that paper unless it is 24 hours before it’s due. Better yet, the morning of the due date.

Third: Set aside some time to study. Tell your friends that you can’t hang out, tell your girlfriend you’ve got something important to do. Then, when it comes time to use the allotted time you gave yourself, realize that this is the first time you’ve had some alone time in a while and start a blog. Then maybe make some food. Talk to your dogs. I don’t know. Just don’t do what you’re supposed to do.

This short but informative guide will ensure YOUR FAILURE OF COLLEGE. Let those capital letters burn into your head and give you anxiety for the rest of the week.


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